The game is changing due to the social media revolution.
The power of social media will be so strong, that your Facebook page will be you identity, women will asking your FB page not only to see if you are the person who are saying that you are, but to see with a few clicks your story, where you are living, the people you know, past girlfriends, your hobbies and so many information that people today giving without hesitation (and after they are worried about their Personal Data Protection, but that’s another story).
However, online dating is the most popular way to meet a girl you like. But many PUAs, who are trying to sell you their shitty products, will tell you that the only thing that matters is your personality and your profile, so you have to buy their product in order to learn how to put your photos, so you can get many chicks.
Ok, we believe you…
But I like to write the truth and today we will see what the biggest online dating site has to say. And for many of us, the results may be disappointed.
But we must hear all the opinions, so let’s see what PUAs has to say about this. I choose BravoPua’s video (among many of them), because is long and he covers everything about online dating. Otherwise, here you can watch a Todd’s video.
Let’s start with your profile, which should be (as the most PUAs saying) the most important step and you have to put something clever there, that says a little but means a lot.
However, your profile has nothing to do with attraction. As Christian Rudder (Co-founder of OkCupid) says:
According to our customers, ‘appearance’ and ‘personality’ is the same thing. So, your picture is worth a thousand words, while your actual words (on your profile) are worth almost nothing“.
Of course a profile full of good pictures is better than an empty one. For instance, in another experiment, OkCupid’s analysts concluded that when profile’s photos showed something interested, like a man holding a musical instrument or an animal, had better responses. Also, profiles with photos where a man was muscular or he didn’t wearing a blouse (and he was in a good shape), had the most answers, as you can see in the photo below.
So and according to OkCupid’s data, appearance plays a significant role on online dating sites and is the reason for the most women to answer. Neither your profile or the photos you put from various places, to show that you are an adventurous guy, or even the photos with other guys drinking can help you to get better responses.
In the photo below, from another experiment (in this article I’m taking data from more than one experiments), you can see that a man’s appearance (and a woman’s of course) plays a significant role for the conversation (and for a woman’s first answer).
To confirm that, OkCupid’s analysts did another experiment. They removed every photo from their site for 7 hours and they watched the user’s behavior. After that, they concluded that when there was no photo, women responded on the first messages, something that changed when they restored the photos.
This shows that when there was a mystery about someone, because there was any photo of him, women responded immediately (hoping for something good, IMO). Indeed, the analyst said that the site worked better (or like it should be, IMO) when there were no member’s photos, as you can see in the image below.
I wrote before about online game and how it makes women even more hard to win at the day-or-night-game, because now we have a lot of competition, where anyone who has good looks (or luck or even both), can send them pictures from his body, money, penis and everything else he believes that he has an advantage at. And as I didn’t had these data in the previous post, these findings can prove my thoughts about this.
In a similar experiment, OkCupid created 10 fake accounts. The two of the most beautiful women got 581% more messages than all the other women combined. And what are PUAs saying? That they can teach you to be different from the other men? Yeah, get in the line.
As I wrote before, even if you show to a woman that you are the MAN she’s always looking for, she already had hundreds of messages from other men to choose from. As you can see in the photo below, the beautiful women get tones of messages and this proves something I am writing a lot, that women are the selectors and not the men (“OMG, he said that I am very cute and he wants to fuck me, this is something I heard for the 300st time today, I can’t decide yet“).
So, a man who can win every woman he wants and the women fall to his legs in order to choose them, is just a myth (or not go for everyone but for a very few men). Also, in the previous study (previous link) they are saying that men have a huge competition online.
In the above photo, you can see that in comparison with men, women are receiving more messages. From the men, the most attractive of them was got a bunch of messages. But the others got nothing. This proved and from another study (this is the last, I promise) where the women who message dudes first on OKCupid, are getting more dates and, “The women are also uniformly messaging the site’s hottest dudes, as judged by user standards“.
So this “appearance is not important” bullshit, at least online (I will write and for the other types of gaming) and that with a “magical” system, PUAs can make you more attractive to women, is just a myth.
Sure, in a real life approach, a good game can compensate -somehow- a bad appearance. For example, women complains a lot that they are being approached by unattractive but confident men, while the attractive men have zero confidence.
I believe that a good game is something like a scale, you have to put more from one thing, to balance with something you don’t have (eg, a very good game for a bad appearance), but for online game, especially in apps like Tinder, where your face is like a book’s cover and it takes just a move to pass you, things are more different and of course, more difficult.
And because all of these are just some random studies behind a PC and you can say that in real life, things are much different, here is another photo from a guy with a good appearance (click to view in full size). You can see that with a good appearance, you can say (and do, in face to face situations) anything you want, without the fear to call you “weirdo”.
So, if you have good appearance, things are more easy for you and can have easily success online. And this is a problem for most guys who are new to the PU community. You can see an attractive guy having success with a woman in the streets, clubs or even online and you believe that his success was due to his game, but maybe his success was due to his appearance and this only.
If you are a not-so-attractive guy, trying pickup girls online is like going to a war with only rocks. Sure, there are a few tricks to “open” and talk with her, but this is a subject for another post.
[Source of photos: OkCupid, unless otherwise noted]