From my very first steps to this self-improvement journey, what mattered most to me was to be an "Alpha Male".
As "Alpha male", we call the best of the men, the men who have what they want, the people who do what they like in their life, while, of course, there are men who want to be with them or women where even a simple eye contact with an alpha male is enough to make her attracted.
I was impressed with everything I read that I could have if I became an alpha male. And don't forget the fact that I could be even better (a superhuman maybe?) if I bought their next product that would give me even more information on this.
So I watched many videos with actors showed a manly acting and I was thinking "This is what I wanna be".
But after so many years in the self-improvement game, I realized that one who is struggling to become an "ALPHA MALE" (the caps on purpose) has no different from the Facebook's "like wh0res" or the so many beta Youtubers, who are willing to do anything they can, just for some likes and views.
Struggling with yourself to become a better person, something that is often out of your reality, makes you socially anxious. You start by not being interested in your friend because it might be betas and keep looking to hang out only with other "alphas".
With time and as your need for recognition grows up, you are looking at whether the people you are chatting with are more or less "alpha" than you, so you can act appropriately, either trying to put them down and "AMOGing" them so you can feel better, or to befriending them.
By constantly thinking about how to become an alpha male, you become paranoid, at the same level as the brainless girls, who are always struggling to become perfect so they can get the most likes.
In every social situation, you see enemies everywhere, people who want to "amog" you and they want to low your status. This is how you enter into an endless battle, where you want to win, and if someone will try to put you down in front of women, it will make you feel bad for a long time.
You will try to "amog" even your best friends, in order to please your selfishness. The more alpha you feel, the more you will do everything you can to keep your "throne", and as a result, you will have fewer friends, and if you decide to become a "Bad-boy" then no one will talk to you.
We are living in a society where everything depends on the recognition from the others. We work to buy things we do not need, to hang out with people we do not like, to go to places we do not want to go in the first place but they are full of people, so we have to go too, and finally to impress people we do not know or care about us.
From the shopping of expensive phones, the fake (usually on steroids) body-builders, and the Facebook photos with fake fun, everything has to do with our image on others, and being "Alpha" is not something different.
The term "alpha male" is a trap. Just like we work to buy more and more things we don't need, they convinced us that we must become something we are NOT, whether we want it or not.
And the result to all this? The... alpha male hangs out only with people who can manage and manipulate and not with those who are real men and can't be manipulated easily.
I don't care about all of that. In fact, I was rarely interested in putting a label on me. The respect you want to have from others is like the trust, you have to win it and you can not pressure someone to accept you as an "Alpha" male. Of course, I will mention the term "Alpha Male" and in future posts, but for other reasons.
I do not care if someone who I'm talking with, sees me as an "Alpha male," nor do I care when I meet new people, to "amog" them and show to them that I am something, but I behave as I've known them for years. Those who are anxious about how others will see them are also those who are desperate for recognition, who had nothing special in their life.
As long as you think you are good enough at something, there will always someone else who will be better than you in the same thing. Do not look desperately to be the best of the best on something, it's a waste of time.
I'm not saying that you do not need to change a lot of things on you, you should definitely change them if you do not like them. Do not fall into the trap that women only date alpha males and guys like Cristian Gray (see Fifty shades of gray), if you think it better, you'll see that many "Betas" are either in a relationship or they're already married and have a good time and a lot of friends.
Just relax. The good times in your life doesn't measure by how much "alpha male" you are, how many people you "amoged" in a day and how many times you showed to people that you are a masculine man. Women are not soldiers to obey orders. You can transform yourself from beta to a masculine man if you try hard, but you will not be able to do it if you are anxious about it.
If you are a truly masculine male and not a "beta" who's trying to hide it behind some fake tricks, women will understand it (and believe me, they can "smell" the fear on women a man has) and they will respect you by themselves, it's in their DNA.
The same applies and with men, they will respect you on their own, without having to do anything on your part or to "force" them to. When you see this happening, people being respectful of you, then it means that something has changed on you and it is not some ridiculous PUA techniques that have done this.